Tangents and Circles

I'm no mathematician, but I remember learning in geometry class about a tangent. It's a line that touches on a circle in just one point. Usually people use that word to express the idea of "going off on a tangent," or, in other words, getting away from the subject at hand. In my case, I feel that my life is a tangent line, barely touching circles of people and experiences, but only in a distant, almost detached manner. It is bothering me a lot this season. As I look back on my past, and ponder the present,I see a pattern that repeats itself over and over again, no matter where, when, and who is part of the circle. I don't get to penetrate to the heart of the circle. I just get to come close, have a peek, meet a few people in the friendship circle, and then I realize I am not fully included in that circle. I have my moment of tangential relationships, and then it is over, before it really began. I need more diameter or radius experiences. I have just finished the Christmas season in Korea, away from my family, trying to feel a sense of the season, but definitely feeling like a tangent line. Next Christmas needs to be different, in the center of the family circle.